Storie: 0:16

Welcome back to Market it with Atma, where we share the tips, tools and strategies to help your business succeed. I'm your host, dori, and today we have on the show a founder of Wholly Redefined Counseling and Therapy Rebecca Gorman. Welcome, rebecca.

Rebecca: 0:33

It's great to be here, Dori. Thank you for having me.

Storie: 0:35

Awesome. I'm so excited to have you on the show because I could probably talk to you for days. Can we start, though, with telling us a little about your story, how you came to start and be an entrepreneur and found your own business, and what inspired you to found this type of business?

Rebecca: 0:53

Absolutely Well. My journey probably began years ago when I was struggling to heal from immune system issues actually, and at that point I started getting interested in holistic healing and nutrition and things like that. And then what happened was I started going to therapy myself. You know, I had never I'd been to like short-term counseling before. That was for a specific situation, but I hadn't done like long-term, you know, cognitive and personality restructuring therapy. That really got to the issues of some of my patterns in life. And after having gone through that, I then decided that I wanted to get a master's degree in marriage and family therapy for myself and I wanted to integrate that with what I had already learned about holistic health and wellbeing, because I really believe that the body, the mind, the spirit, it's all so connected and I wanted to be able to provide psychotherapy in a way that really incorporates the whole person.

Storie: 2:02

Wow, that's incredible. So can you tell me more about what type of therapy you have at Holy Redefine or that you offer?

Rebecca: 2:08

Absolutely. I offer talk therapy and I incorporate mindfulness, breathing. I'm also going to keep in mind especially internal family systems. It's a type of therapy where you kind of look at where the different parts of people are kind of being kept locked up. A lot of times when people are going to therapy, maybe one part of them is holding all the grief and the trauma, while another part of them is holding all the hope and the joy, and this is often connected to physical symptoms that are manifesting in the body. And so during the course of therapy, I'm going to ask a lot of questions like where are you feeling that in your body? Where is that manifesting in your body? Or like what is that trying to tell you? And so I give a lot of integration, I facilitate a lot of integration between the body and the mind and the emotions, Almost like kind of what they do in meditation grounding.

Storie: 3:13

I feel like that would ground me. If you're telling me to focus on the points in my body where it affected me, which is great because it almost brings you back here instead of off in your thoughts, would you agree?

Rebecca: 3:24

Absolutely that's the goal really is for people to be able to be authentic and present in who they were made to be. And often, when we're carrying around trauma and coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms, they just keep us from really showing up in the world as who we were made to be. And so the therapy room for me I call it like a holy of holies. It's a place of shalom peace where I really want I want it to be that centering, grounding space where people can really get into a deep conversation with themselves and meet themselves.

Storie: 4:03

That's wonderful. So have you run into any clients that maybe they don't know? They have those portions of them that have the anger and you know, stress and anxiety that they came to you for, and how do you manage walking through that with them?

Rebecca: 4:20

That is such a good question. I would say it's the majority of us. We all need a mirror to reflect back to us. One of my favorite sayings is that none of us can see clearly in our own storms, which is why I really believe you know, every therapist should have've been yourself.

Rebecca: 4:37

You can't take someone to places that you've never been, and so what I often find is it is the high performers the people who come to me are. Often they are the ones who are leaders and they are always the ones serving and helping others, and in fact, they often are just very compassionate and smiling and things like that. But I've gotten to where I can see where there's anger behind their eyes, and because what happens is we start thinking that's not allowed. We start thinking like well, for me to be a leader, for me to serve others. I can't be in touch with my own anger when people let me down or when I feel like the buck always stops here. I'm always the one picking up the slack and in my experience, that often is where is is. One of the roots of autoimmune disease, too is when we feel like the buck always stops with us and we feel like it's always down to us. That can result in a lot of isolation, both within ourselves and just from other people.

Storie: 5:46

Wow. You really touch on the fact that your mental state really does affect your physical state, so being in tune with both of them is very important. It seems like right, yes, wow. So can you tell me how do you stay motivated when helping others and seeing the pain and the grief, how do you stay motivated in what you do and how do you progress each day in getting better or staying positive? What inspires you?

Rebecca: 6:19

I think what inspires me is seeing people reach the goals that they came to therapy to achieve. I love seeing miracles happen and to me I'm a guide and I'm a faithful witness, but for me it's the client doing the work, they're the hero, and I'm there just to support and guide and encourage them. And so seeing those results happen it brings me so much joy, especially when people not only do they resolve patterns in their own lives, but they begin to see their constellation of relationships change as well. Even if none of their family members or coworkers or whoever they've had difficulty with, even if none of them go to therapy. When the client does the work, it's incredible to see how all their relationships transform in ways that are beneficial to them.

Storie: 7:14

I love that. So it's almost like you can see whether it be good or bad in others what you wish you had known and you can accept it. I know when I went to therapy in the past. Just having that acceptance of knowing where other people are that you've grown from through therapy is almost like a calming like I understand where you've grown from through therapy is almost like a calming like I understand where you're coming from and you. You probably need help. But that's not for you to say, it's just the understanding that gives.

Rebecca: 7:41

Gives you some peace when you say that you found that in your clients and having that understanding helps them absolutely understanding and acceptance are huge, especially accepting the parts of ourselves that we've disowned. Like. We all have parts of ourselves that are selfish, that are controlling, that are furious, you know, and so often actually what we call mental illness, it often comes from rejecting parts of ourselves that actually we need to have conversation with and accept them unconditionally and love them and then, once they're accepted and seen for what they are and not shamed and not disowned, they can actually be integrated with the true self and actually brought under the awareness and control of the person's true self, who, I'm convinced, is loving and beautiful and courageous and all the things that we want to be.

Storie: 8:36

That's awesome. So is that kind of why you touched on the point of how therapists should should also go through therapy? Would you say that, even for a therapist psychopath, any type of person giving counseling to others should continue their journey in therapy as well throughout their lifetime?

Rebecca: 8:53

I definitely believe so.

Rebecca: 8:55

And that may look different for each person, but I just think doing our own work is huge, especially if we are walking beside others who are doing their own work and walking through really difficult things, so that we don't unintentionally start to lean, lean on them and unhealthy ways or you know things like that. We need to make absolutely sure that we're taking care of our soul and spirit and that we are taking really good care of ourselves, and I think I think therapy is a way to care for ourselves. I think it's a great example of self-care and self-love.

Storie: 9:26

That's awesome. So have you had any mentors through your journey and being an entrepreneur or a therapist that you really look towards for guidance and would you say having a mentor, especially in your industry, is important?

Rebecca: 9:40

Absolutely. I have benefited from some incredible mentors in my life, and one mentor that I have is Jay Arsment, and she's the leader of Rest Yourself Family Ministries, and she, uh, she's a multiple business owner, but, like, what's really cool is just to see how she stops for the one, she stops for the person. And it's not about even though she's this very successful business owner. It's never about you know, what can I get from you. It's always about what, what can I offer, what value can I give? And and she can look at a woman who is is at the lowest point of her life, maybe she's you know, recently homeless, maybe she's coming from a domestic violence situation, and she will look at that person with as, with the same worth as someone who's, like you know, a mover and shaker in Dallas or something, and so I love having people like that in my life, because that that's the kind of leader that that I aspire to be right.

Storie: 10:44

I would hope every male or female would inspire, aspire to be just like that, to to not cast that judgment, which is a beautiful thing. That's awesome. So what advice would you give to, say, people wanting to actually go to school for what you've gone to school for for therapy, psychotherapy, any of those? And what was something you wish you had known prior to starting your own business?

Rebecca: 11:13

That is such a great question. First of all, I want to say to someone who's entering the profession as a counselor or a therapist it is a long journey and just not to get discouraged. I also would encourage that person, if they've never been to therapy themselves, definitely to do their own work and you know, I'm grateful that the program I enrolled in at the King's University. One thing that I felt made it stand apart was that we, as we learn different therapy concepts, we practice them on ourselves first. We applied them to ourselves. I'd never had blackboard assignments like what I had at the King's University, which were often asking very personal questions and they were asking us to be vulnerable in front of our classmates because we were basically applying what we were learning to ourselves first. But I'm grateful that they did that because they were like we're going to make sure you don't graduate from this program without knowing what it's like to you know be receiving therapy.

Storie: 12:14

So, in addition to you mentioned having a mentor and your how important your mentor was to you, Are you looking to mentor in the future or is that something that you want to help other therapists or counselors kind of walk through so that you can guide them down that path without the road bumps that you may have encountered?

Rebecca: 12:34

Yes, absolutely. Especially for licensed professional counselor associates or LMFT associates. It can be a long journey to full licensure and I think that there is so much that you as a person have to bring to the table and I'm convinced I mean I know wonderful psychologists and LPCs and life coaches and things like that and I really think that the most valuable thing you bring is yourself, like the credentials, the training that's absolutely important. We all want to be lifelong learners. I intend to be a lifelong learner the whole time that I'm a therapist and just continue developing my skills. But I think that you and your journey, and especially you having done your own deep healing work, is the most valuable thing you bring to your client.

Rebecca: 13:28

And I think at the beginning, when you're starting your own business and you're you've graduated and you're trying to get off the ground and get clients, it can sometimes feel like the whole world is saying you're not good enough, you don't have what it takes. Even after doing all that work to require the hours through your practicum, internship and to get that master's degree, you still don't have what it takes. That's often what it feels like the world is saying, and so I would just want to encourage them that they do. There's a reason that they were called to this field and they do have something valuable and irreplaceable to bring to the table.

Storie: 14:04

That's wonderful. It's wonderful that you're offering to help walk people through it as well, because that's almost invaluable to some to be able to watch and be guided by someone as inspirational as you are you. Actually, we talked about in a previous meeting we had how Advent Trinity kind of uses the build launch, grow scale methodology. Where would you say you are in that build launch, grow scale phase, especially because you actually came from a marketing background, didn't you? I did Awesome. Can you tell me where you are in that build launch, grow scale phase and how your marketing background has impacted you in whatever phase you're in right now?

Rebecca: 14:49

I would say I'm definitely in the launch phase I was building while I was finishing my master's degree, you know, getting the PLLC, launching my website, trying to apply what I had learned in the marketing profession to my own business, which I will say for those of you out there, it is very different doing it for yourself than doing it for somebody else. It's a whole mindset shift because and really it's an opportunity for further, you know, therapy work on yourself, because it is often so much easier to promote what somebody else is doing than to believe in ourselves and our gifts and what we're doing, which is where something an organization like Atma can be really, really helpful to help you grow your business. I think that, with the launching phase that I'm in now, it's definitely a matter of finding my ideal clients and building just those trusting business relationships where we can refer people to each other and practicing really telling people who my ideal client is and who they would want to refer to me, and how we can really be helpful to each other. It's really been quite an adventure because, having come from working, you know, as an employee or a manager in an organization for a long time, it's exciting and also very a little scary and challenging to enter, that entrepreneur mindset so story I was telling you.

Rebecca: 16:25

I feel like I'm needing to go from an A student mindset to a B to a C student mindset, and what I mean by that is, you know, I feel like for years I've been really good at fitting into other people's systems and now I feel like I'm actually needing to ask myself what? What system do I want to create? What do I want to build Like? Now that I'm launching this, what do I want it to look like?

Storie: 16:52

And that is just a whole, a whole new world for me, with the marketing background intertwined in that, and it's still almost daunting not daunting, but what's the word I'm looking for?

Storie: 17:07

Scary the word you mentioned is scary to walk that path even with your knowledge of it. So having somebody, especially this day and age where it's so digital, now everything changes from day to day I feel like I need to come see you after this. Just grounding yourself with someone who can bring you back down is amazing. But I agree, I never was able to market myself or my husband's business the way somebody else could. I had to go to somebody else and now that I work for a marketing company all the time I say I can see how to help you, but you're going to have to tell me how to help me if I'm going to go and look for it. And I feel like it's the same with what you're doing. It's, there's so much intricate detail you have in your mind to share, um, but it's easier to tell someone and have them reframe it, would you say.

Rebecca: 18:02

Yes, that's spot on. I love that relationship you brought out between therapy and marketing. It's so true and often that's what I do. Like clients might feel like I'm reading their mind and I'm not. I'm actually just reflecting back what they said to me that they did not realize.

Storie: 18:16

They said yes, it's almost a form of therapy, I guess, for marketers and a slight bit of counseling there too Well. Can you tell me if someone wants to come and use you as their therapist or counselor, or if they want to be mentored by you, how can they reach out to you? Do you have social media? Do you have websites that they can go to and visit?

Rebecca: 18:39

Yes, I do so. My website is holyredefinedcom and that's holy W-H-O-L-L-Y redefinedcom. That's probably a really good way to reach out to me. They can also email me at rebeccagtherapist at gmailcom, and then that Rebecca is spelled with a CC. I'll be so glad to get in touch with them, and I see clients right now in person at my church called C3 Fort Worth. It's just right in the heart of Fort Worth on the map and I also see clients virtually, and I'm also available for walk and talk therapy. I really believe in the power of walking and being out in nature while you're processing through some of those difficult and complex situations. Absolutely.

Storie: 19:29

Would you also offer insurance, or are you offering it to people with insurance and without insurance?

Rebecca: 19:35

Yes, I don't accept insurance at this time. However, people can let me know if there's a special needs situation and I can offer a sliding scale.

Storie: 19:44

Oh, that's wonderful. So you're open to everyone, helping anyone, everyone. Well, I really really appreciate you coming on the show and sharing all your thoughts and insights, especially being an entrepreneur in such a special and important field. So I hope to have you back in the next six months to see where you're going from there. Thank you, story, it's been a pleasure. Thank you, rebecca, and to all of our listeners out there, we'll see you next time on Market it With Atma.